Happy New Year to everybody, and with the New Year comes a change in the captaincy. And it was with great sadness that the Moo’s bade farewell to last year’s Captain Ant Ryan, and Vice Captain, myself, after the monumental effort and sterling performance the pair of us produced throughout the year. It is very doubtful whether this year’s team of Chrissy Watkins and Gaz Williams can live up to the high standards set in 2006!! Personally I have strong reservations whether Chrissy has got the personality or the substance to carry out such an important job, we could yet see the first abdication as the pressure starts to take its toll on Chrissy’s limited ability!

The last couple of weeks have been quite memorable for the Moo’s, the annual Santa ride attracted a commendable turnout, with everybody making a tremendous effort to come decked out in Santa suits and decorated bikes. We found out that new rider Roger Colling-Morgan has a certain prowess in the drinking department and drives a Ferrari just like the 80’s icon Magnum P.I. or in Roger’s case, Magnum P.A. (P**S ARTIST), but Roger has been a welcome addition to the Moo’s and with his posh double-barrelled name, he has now been dubbed Mr Farquhar pronounced, Mr (FARKAR)!!!

“Take a look closer to home” is a well known phrase, and one with which the Moo’s would do well to adhere to, for as we’re quite famous for managing to get quite well-known personalities to pose with our riding shirts, we actually have a famous icon within our midst. This person being our very own accomplished literary genius, Mr Gordon ‘Bernard Scripps’ Thornton ECG, who published his latest bestseller just before Christmas. This book received rave or maybe depraved reviews as it climaxed the year by knocking the top off all its rivals and becoming number 1 in the book charts for Christmas. This book is one that you really SHOULD judge by its cover!! But like most great prolific writers, Scrippsy has no intention of resting on his laurels, and has already penned a few new books for the new year, “Adventures at Biffins Bridge and Other Short Stories”; “How to Scale a Skin Chimney Safely”; and “I Rogered a Rabbit” which I’m told will be out in time for Easter, are the next instalments from this talented individual.

Whilst there has been a few new riders who have established themselves as regulars over the past few months, one old favourite for the time being at least, has seemed to have lost his way. Just as Matthew : Chapter 13 : Verses 1-23: tells us in the Bible about the sower sowing his seeds, “And some fell along the path and the birds devoured them, and some fell upon rocky ground and immediately withered away” and like our very own disciple “Some fell by the wayside and were immediately lost”, which seems to be what’s happened to Bernaard in recent weeks. After unfortunately having his trusty steed stolen just before Christmas, Bernaard has spiralled into oblivion, he has had numerous offers from other kind-hearted Moo’s to borrow their bikes, but has continually turned these offers down, strange behaviour indeed from a former Rider of the Year!

But perhaps the new Captain and best friend of the large Jacksied Italian has come up with a more feasible explanation. “Hell hath no fury like a women scorned” so it is said, but this pales into insignificance compared to the rejection and jealousy felt by Chrissy, who last night explained to the Moo’s that “Since he moved in with his Mrs he has started making excuses and telling lies in order to miss rides, I’ve just about had a guts full, he is well under the thumb!!”. Strong words indeed from the Captain, perhaps he does after all own a set of testosterone filled appendages!!

Happy New Year and all the best for 2007!

Ex-Vice Cap

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