Picture the scene - blazing June weather, the smell of cut grass, the sound of leather on willow, the taste of ice cold cider caressing your parched taste buds and, of course beautiful dry riding conditions - well we had 4 out of 5 and would have had a full house if it were not for an 'interesting' choice of route for this weeks ride.
From the Legion car park the mountain for which Machen is famous looked to be in perfect condition, so surely only a fool would head for the woods where the hot sunshine of the previous three days would have failed to penetrate the full foliage. And, you guessed it, a fool it was as the trail selection was made by none other than seventy four year old Scrippsy Thornton - one time Tour of Germany participant and Moos riding legend. For the club's senior professional should have known better than to drag the same group of committed moos (yes the same group that got cold, wet, muddy and p*****d off in the typhoon last week) through trails more akin to Abercwmtwrch's 3rd XV pitch on your average wet Saturday afternoon.
Despite the poor conditions, the blend of muddy singletrack ascents
and tarmac descents, there were some outstanding highlights to share:
1. Despite Crock's return from his motorcycle trip to the Pyrenees, his absence was noted and then quickly explained when he was seen cleaning the remnants of Bernaaard's front wheel from his monster truck. Not only was this a lame excuse for not riding, but many Moos are now becoming worried about a developing 'click' of breakaway riders from the club. In fact the last known 'click' was Bernaard's famous Trek transmission/braking/steering/suspension/crank system.
2. An amazing feat of daring do by Chrissie (if his parents read this, then we urge them to question him about his new nickname.) Anyway the great SC lived up to his reputation by performing an admirable huck off a rocky outcrop on Rudry Common.
3. Scrippsy fell off in a big puddle of mud - a skin treatment that his fellow naturists pay good money for at the Biffin's Bridge colony.
4. The curse of the mechanic struck yet again when, on puncturing, Gonzo a) relied on others to fix it b) had to borrow a tube after presenting a 'brand new one straight from the box' which just happened to have an even larger hole than the original.
5. Beaker joined us in the Royal O.K. and proceeded to scoff all of our food (with lashings of Tommy K of course) on the ground that he had been riding on his own after returning from work late. Neither he or the shiny singlespeed DMR showed a speck of dirt however, which is evidence that has been duly logged by the captain for future reference I am sure.
Despite redeeming himself slightly with some quick sections through Lisvane woods prior to the Maenllwyd refreshment/'reservoir' stop, Scrippsy soon dropped the bombshell that he didn't get on with some Moos. If any Moos or readers would like to e-mail via the link below, Martyn has agreed to set up a new section on this site which will count the votes of "Predict who Scrippsy Dislikes the Most!" One vote per person please:
By
popular request, I leave you this week with more news of Beaker's downhill
success. Despite the foul mouthed Brizzle mechanic's results, a shadow
has now been cast over the legality of his training methods as this
photo of him and his secret coach, taken in his bike shed, highlights.
Option should be back next week following his lengthy tour of the factory
with Violet Beauregard, Mike TV and friends. I must say that its been
a pleasure and a simple but honourable task over thee last few weeks
to write to fellow moos - which must beg the question of why Option
couldn't really be arsed for the past couple of months.
See you on the trail and keep shredding,
Gaz
