Well the Ex-Ex-Cap is back to where he once belonged.

Well, what a brilliant ride!

The Ex-Ex Cap, steps into the breach and does it again!

The boys were definitely back in town as seventeen riders (it may have been n’n’n’n’nineteen) lined up like toy soldiers at the start. I think it was seventeen but I can’t be sure as the rider-counter / timekeeper, that was our inaugural Cap, Scrippsy, was not present to do the headcount again! We received a message in a bottle explaining that he had left his heart in San Francisco, and was leaving on a jet plane. We are not sure when he will be back again!

Four of them honoured the Ex-Ex-Cap by bringing out heir new steeds to play for the first time with the Moos, and by-heck did those new bikes have a right going over!

These were Gaz on his Scott extra bouncy go-down-hill-fast (if he needed to go downhill faster anyway!), Farquar-Smythe who is definitely holding back the years on his new hardtail (couldn’t work out what colour it was though!), Ja Ja Russ (how long before he crashes) on his new Specialized full bouncer, and Dafydd - the last time I saw him he was scrambling out of a bombhole up Rhyd y gwern woods! - on his full suss beauty.

Crockett was desperate to get up the Maen so that he could chat up the ladies. The fact that it was Valentines Day, and definitely not ladies night, every woman there would be on a romantic night out with their partner and the fact that Crock never ever speaks to any women in the Maen anyway (not even a careless whisper!), convinced me that it would be better to go in the opposite direction ………

……………….and what a good choice that proved to be as I can honestly say that they were no complaints about any part of this ride. No way Mamma Mia! It was a roller coaster of sweet singletrack, gnarly sledgehammer descents and torturous climbs.

As Yazz and the Plastic Population would say ‘The Only Way Is Up,’ and this was very much the case as we ascended Lewis Street. There was no stopping us now – as we were on the moove. Being the Ex-Ex Cap I was duly escorted by our resident bouncers Jimmy ‘Mohamed-I’m Hard-Bruce Lee’ MacAnus and Dickie ‘EPO Armstrong’ Watkins. Everyone seemed to love the climb, chattering away talking, talking happy talk. But, as I said at the time, ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet,’ because the descent to follow was truly a highway to hell.

It proved to be a real danger zone. Even Gaz punctured on the first half of the descent but like a rubber ball he came bouncing back.

Only fifty yards into the next part of the descent yours truly exemplified what a truly rocky path we were on by puncturing. ‘Don’t leave me this way’ I cried to the riders whizzing past me oblivious to my predicament. ‘I’m your man’ Dickie shouted as he stopped to help. ‘Have a little patience’ I said as I managed to fix the puncture - getting by with a little help from my friends.

It was a case of shake, rattle and roll onwards as we headed down, down deeper and down towards the streetlife in the Cross Keys area.

The lads were dancing on the ceiling at the prospect of a couple of medicinal libations in the Monkey. It was like being in the ghetto as we entered but the Moos soon turned the place into a house of fun.

It was a long and winding road, back up the car park on Machen Mountain, where we all converged under the moon of love to watch Dickie rolling around in agony due to the effort he put into the climb (it was either that or he had run out of EPO!) I’m sure I saw a rabbit, rabbit scamper across the next field, I could just about make out its bright eyes burning like fire.

The final countdown saw all riders taking off like crazy horses down the quarry run down to the Royal Oak, half-way down which Dafydd was heard to mutter ‘here I go again on my own’ as he went free falling through the air, eventually coming to a halt like a rolling stone. As he got to his feet he was truly a whiter shade of pale

Crockett even got back to the TA first proving the theory that every loser wins. What an exhilarating ride! It was indeed a hard days night and everyone seemed to be saying ‘I’m so exited!’ When we got back to the TA they just couldn’t hide it, they were about to lose control and I think they liked it! We all seemed to be hungry like the wolf so it was with relief that the food did not disappoint once again.

I was all shook up as everyone conveyed their appreciation for leading them on simply the best ride of the year so far. It was per er er er er fect.

Yours in song.

Rivaldo (Ex Ex Cap)