Well it certainly is good to be back within the riding fraternity of the Moos after a two month break, and I would especially like to extend my gratitude to Geoff OBE and Ex Ex Cap Owgie for fantastically enhancing the Options Odes section by submitting top drawer reports in my absence, although Owgie’s beautifully composed write up of  14th Feb in which he used a novel approach by using song titles throughout was met by some derision by Scrippsy’s wife, who, as an avid follower of the Moos was disappointed that Owgie hadn’t incorporated some of her favourite songs in his whimsical witty communiqué, perhaps next time Owgie could find a place for ‘Gordon is a Moron’, ‘Shaddap Your Face’, ‘Fool on The Hill’ and ‘Get Back (out of my bed you drunken b*****d)’!!!!!!!!

By having a website and therefore having a window in which to show ourselves to the rest of the world, I feel that it is the duty of every contributor to this website to give people unbiased accounts and to provide knowledgeable well researched information to the best of our ability, I say this as I have noticed a flagrant abuse of this fundamental rule in previous weeks, it is also at this point that I would like to apologise to Miggly Moos followers in North Africa. The reason for this is that the Captain signed off one week by saying:

“As they say in Hausa…Sai Wani Lokoci”

Firstly there is no such country as Hausa, it is a language which belongs to the West Chadic Languages subgroup of the Chadic languages group, which in turn is part of the Afro-Asiatic language family. Native speakers of Hausa are mostly to be found in the African country of Niger and in the north of Nigeria, but the language is widely used in Benin, Burkina Faso, Cameroon and Ghana.

Having taken the time to consult my old friend Obefemi Adegboyega of the Nigerian Interior Ministry for Language Affairs (NIMLA), I managed to ascertain that by the Captains flippant use of a language that he has no command of, and obviously doesn’t respect he managed to omit a few fundamental rules in basic grammar whilst using Hausa, because old Stunty conveniently forgot or didn’t realise that Hausa has glottalic consonants which are both implosives and ejectives at four or five places of articulation (depending on the dialect). They require movement of the glottis during pronunciation.

They can also be denoted with an apostrophe, either before or after depending on the letter. So bearing this in mind he actually should have said, S’ai Wa’ni ‘Lok’oc’i, assuming of course that he was using the Kananci dialect!!!!

Having said this, the Captain must be given credit for organizing a fantastic meal last week in which everyone thoroughly enjoyed and which proceeded with military style precision. Whilst everyone was enjoying pre meal drinks and generally enjoying themselves, the conversation was suddenly hushed as all eyes turned to the door and the person who cut an imposing figure as he strode purposefully into the village bar, immaculately dressed and clutching a Gin and Tonic shaken (due to his nerve problems) not stirred and sporting a straw (to aid consumption) Scrippsy had arrived!! Continuing his magnificent entrance he breezed past everyone leaving women swooning in his wake as they were left intoxicated by his unique bouquet of Old Spice and Talcum Powder which was only punctuated by the slight bitter aroma of urine that befits all men of his age. It was a shame then that this impressive introduction was irreparably damaged by the end of the night as he descended back into the dithering, muttering, boring, drunken old fool that we have become accustomed to. He was left to wet the spare bed on his own again too!!!!!!!

Congratulations this week also go to Geoff OBE who has whisked his fiancée off on a skiing holiday in Central Europe and is combining it with getting married, and soon after that he will be swiftly taking her up the Eiger to finish of the holiday.

It has been announced this week that the Welsh Rugby Union side will be wearing sky blue jerseys and that England will be sporting yellow in the forthcoming IRB World Cup and New Zealand will now be known as the All Blacks with a Hint of Magnolia!!! This is to keep in line with the recent trend of established sporting entities changing their team colours in order to generate more cash. In a somewhat disturbing turn of events over the last few months, it had been decided by certain members to change our jersey colours from blue and white to an absolutely awful shade of pink and white, and what’s even more disturbing is that quite a sizeable order was placed for the new attire. So in a couple of weeks when the order comes to fruition it will dispel the myth that there is only one gay in the village, and on a Miggly Moo Wednesday Night there will be at least 20 gays in the village!!!!!!!!!!!

Vaarwel

As they say in the language that is known as Afrikaans, which is spoken by a certain percentage of the population within The Republic of South Africa, on the other hand you could get away with saying Totsiens, but this is considered to be a little more formal!!!

Ex-Vice Cap

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