The last ‘winter ride’ for the foreseeable future was only mildly better attended than last week’s debacle with ten lucky Moos enjoying bone dry conditions under a starry sky. Some of the old sure favourites were visited such as the Quarry Run, Lisvane Woods and Rudry Common before a long awaited return to the Maenllwyd Inn for refueling.

Throughout the ride the club’s Senior Pro (armed with £2.50 torch from Woolies) was shepherded by Dickie. It’s about time that you did something about those candles on your bars you tight old get!

As well as ruining Dickie’s ride, the ex-captain showed his appreciation by piling into the back of him on two separate occasions on our return through the single-track in Machen woods. Once again the ‘Senior Management’ of the club were notable in their absence; the Captain showing up in the T.A. with a letter from his mum asking if "Anthony could be excused from riding due a bad belly". Ant also had a letter from the vice Captain’s mother stating that "Robert was still too embarrassed to ride following his crash in front of the Goon’s last June!" Anyway thank heavens that we at least have a few committed Moos in the club with Crock, Marty, Kev, Scrippsy and I the only full attendees of recent rides. Marty has agreed to create the graphics for the blind over ex-riders’ profiles by next week unless there is an improvement in commitment/attendance

However let’s cut to the chase:

Those so called ‘riding buddies’ who are responsible for the filling of my Camelbak with cockles and fag ends will be severely punished. My friend D.C. Thornton of The Aberdare Flying Squad has put together a DNA profile of the culprit. Apparently it belongs to an old man, probably in his late fifties with a dislike of Dogs. On phorensic inspection of the bag itself and of the T.A. premises and rubbish bins this morning, a number of pieces of evidence were uncovered:

Facial Hair		Probably from a Moustache
Traces of Polident		Used that day
Fingerprints containing ink from a Saga Holiday Brochure		Recently used with pages mysteriously stuck together

Next week’s ride will be the first of the ‘summer’ and all Moos riding with leggings will be severely dealt with. Shorts only – Captain’s Return Ride I reckon.

See you out on the trail.

C. Reeves