It has been the busiest time of the year up at Wonka Towers, with Easter coming early this year there has been a mad rush to make sure that we get all our chocolate products out on the shelves in order to supply the demand, this coupled with the fact that Augustus Gloop carelessly dropped his Golden Ticket into the chocolate filtering system, has meant that all the Oompah Loompahs have been putting in a lot of overtime recently, which in turn has meant that I have been unable to ride and to write ‘Option’s Odes’ for a few weeks.

However I did think that I had overcome this problem, because knowing that I would be away for a few weeks I did ask our very own ‘Superman’ Gaz if he would mind guest writing the Odes, at first he willingly accepted, but then all of a sudden he decided that he didn’t have time, what with all his super human heroics going on, so he told me that he had passed the job on to another Moo, he didn’t say who, but going by the sparseness of reports for the month of March, I think it would be safe to bet that it was Dez who ended up with the task!!!!! Scrippsy also voiced his displeasure about the lack of the ‘Odes’ by saying that his ‘friends’ had been asking him where the write ups had gone, but being as Scrippsy isn’t very popular, at least that is only one person with their nose out of joint!!!

A warm welcome must go to a new rider last night, when Mr Andrew Fallaize, after weeks of rumours and speculation finally joined us for a Moos ride, although he said that he had been putting in a bit of mileage recently, I don’t think it had quite prepared him for what was to follow!!

Jeff Singlespeed confidently led 10 riders on what was his first ride of the year. The ‘Beaker’ look-alike chose the now familiar route of Turners Lane to commence his ride, incidentally the Caerphilly County Council have now decided to re tar-mac the lane due to the heavy traffic load of the past few weeks, there is now a groove in the middle of the lane caused by the Moos riding up it so many times!!

Without Dickie riding it was left to ‘New Boy’ Andrew ‘Flangey’ Fallaize to stop for a burger half way up, and no sooner had the grease dried on his parched lips, Beaker Wherlock was leading us on toward the Wyllie. Whether it be metal fatigue from carrying such a heavy weight around, or simply mental fatigue on the part of Bernaard, either way both he and his machine gave up the ghost as yet again the back end, predominantly the brakes failed to function and the hapless Bernaard was left to nurse his ‘steed’ home unaccompanied!!

After a second of sympathy for Bernaard we were off again, with Beaker taking us on a superb track through the forestry, this is where a certain Moo decided to spoil it for everyone else. It has been no secret that Ryan the Steam has been looking for some time to start his own tea plantation and half way through a scintillating piece of singletrack he spotted a promising fertile patch and suddenly veered off towards Ynysddu, and with the Lemmings behind following him, including The Captain Scrippsy, Crock and Flangey, he single-handedly managed to turn a promising ride into a personal crusade in pursuit of his own selfish dream!! With the rest of us Beaker, Tom, Marty and Myself having to rue the missed opportunity of continuing a good ride.

With just a few minor mechanical problems it was a somewhat uneventful ride back to headquarters. But on arriving at HQ it was a welcome change to see the Captain make it back for once, for as he is always quick to point out when other people sometimes can’t make it for a start to a ride and then have to catch up, he on the other hand had been developing an unhealthy habit of abandoning his flock at the Maenllwyd as well as passing on his other Captains duty in order to make it home for an early bath and a nice cooked dinner!!!! At least the late starters are able to finish off the job; it seems that at his age the Captain is unable to finish what he started!!!!!

With the new tenants at the Royal Oak Machen carrying on the formidable spread of their predecessors, it was not long before the Moos were suitably refreshed and ready for the the now familiar end of month awards. With Chrissie turning up late in his civvies, he proceeded to present his choice as Rider of The Month. As usual Chrissie came up with a lame excuse as he obviously hadn’t been paying attention to the riding exploits of certain members during the month and proceeded to award the cup to Scrippsy on the feeble pretence that he had ‘led’ a ‘wonderful’ ride earlier in the month, it was noted that this was a pathetic reason to award such a prestigious trophy, especially to an ailing feeble once upstanding pillar of the community!!!!

There was a second award last night which was won hands down by Crock, the award en-titled ‘Tw*t of the Month’ was presented to Gollum for his inexcusable behaviour towards our new hosts last week, his foul mouthed tirade of abuse which has sent shock waves through the village was enough to ensure Crock secured this ‘award’. Although such was the severity of his behaviour that I think that he should now keep it for the entire year. It was only fitting then that Bill the new landlord was asked to present the uncharacteristically quiet (this week at least) Crock with his trophy!!!!!

Although last week there was a lot of accidents out on the trail, thankfully none of them ended up with any serious injury. But spare a thought for our currently injured Moos who are at the moment recuperating. I am pleased to tell you that Blip is making excellent progress with his collar bone, although the swelling has yet to go down on his bottom lip, and Dave Morgan who had a nasty eye injury at the beginning of the month is also almost fully recovered, although in Dave’s case it was a little of his own fault that he sustained his inury, for as most of us know Dave is a keen conservationalist, and we are forever waiting for him as he checks out the flora and fauna of our native forestry, but on the night of his injury a certain plant caught his eye literally, for Dave had spotted a Convallaria Majalis, more commonly known as a Lily-of-the-Valley and he got really excited because as he later told us it is apparently a diminishing colony which is only found on the western edge of the marshlands in eastern England, but due to its nature is becoming more and more restricted by the spread of Rhododendron, so you can imagine his excitement when he spotted one which was growing outside its natural habitat. The problem was that at the time he was hurtling at 30mph along a dirt track and carelessly looking up at it managed to get one of its spines wedged in his eye, this is generally not a good idea but we wish Dave a full recovery, although anyone reading this should take note KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE TRAIL!! That’s Mountain Biking!!!!