Vice-Captain's Corner By Ryan the Steam
The return leg of the "Paragoons" / Moos rideout is tonight. Fourteen Moos and six goons to start this ride, Ross constantly kept bleating about their poor turnout of just six riders, but it was good to have them over, Gaz was happy to test his fitness on "home soil" against the goons as he was a bit a of a Mary two weeks ago in Cwmcarn keeping the middle ground warm between riders.
On to the ride, up thro the woods and on to single speeds track along the quarry, carnage heard behind me, a goon had fallen within seconds of any technical single track (one nil). Nick Berni let us down with a tangle of a wire fence and over the bars, his larger than life butt cushioned the blow and he rode well for the rest of the ride. We climbed out of the quarry and onto "Blips" leap most riders had a go but some wimped out, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Onto some more technical wet single track towards "Garlic Lane", This was met with constant screams and whines from the goons of "your trying to kill us". Carnage was the norm on this slippery technical descent which proved very entertaining especially as "Tom" tried to show the goons how to kill yourself in one easy downhill, "I am in control Honest" proclaimed Tom, Bullpoo! but well saved and very entertaining.
Onto the lane to Machen Mountain and refreshments served by Rob "Option" James AKA, "BRITTLE BONES" at the car park. Onto the top of the mountain and down some technical descents to the bottom and on to the Royal Oak.
Lots of praise was had for the ride even from Jock, the goons said they really enjoyed it and John wants to ride here every day but his pacemaker could not cope with it. Bill and Gill served up loads of good food for the twenty of us and plenty of booze.
Tw*t of the month, Rider and the month was held tonight due to unavailability of the recipients last week, "Tom" had rider of the month for doing the jumps over at Cwmcarn, Rob had Tw*t of the month for overdoing the jumps at Cwmcarn and breaking his wrist and arm, his sex life is now suffering. I had Birthday boy drink (29 now) 4.39 seconds = 1 pint of Guinness, pooftas.
A very successful ride and good nite was had by all with a lot of positive feedback, we look forward to travelling to Cwmcarn in the near future, (to be arranged by Ross and Dai Morgan)!