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Captains Corner - Just like the Crap Old Days!

20th July 2005

First of all I’d like to apologise for not keeping on top of my ‘Caps Reports’ over the last couple of weeks (especially to Gord’s work mate who always seemed to be particularly offended by my misdemeanours!). I’ve just been ………………well……………LAZY!

Anyway, I’ll never live up to the organisational astuteness, motivational leadership and man-management skills of the ‘parrot-on-the-shoulder (I’d do it like this if I were you!) Ex-Cap,’ so I might as well admit defeat.

A better turnout this week included the surprise addition of Jock and Dez, who we haven’t seen for a while. Good to have them back in the fold (Apparently Dez was able to ride after finishing reading his Christmas thesaurus only the night before!).

When quizzed about his unusual absence the previous week the ‘Ginger-topped-fish-sucking-Gollum look-alike’ Crock said that he had been babysitting! Would you leave your child with this man! Dez had obviously remembered some of the more exquisite words he has found in the thesaurus, as he led the Moos off by belching out the phrase ‘GO!’

The first real obstacle on Dez’s ride was the infamous ‘drop of death.’ As ever the Cap was on-hand to take the bull by the horns and execute the treacherous drop (albeit with a new run-off) with grace, style and panache! But instead of the usual carnage the next eight riders managed to get down successfully with varying degrees of control. The ‘drop’, which has claimed victim after victim on previous occasions, even allowed the usually ‘scared-stiff’ ex-cap Scrippsy Thornton to traverse its bumpy contours without mis-hap!

After another ‘you blokes are nuts!’ comment from ‘Frank the Bus’ he decided to have a go at Rudry Common descent (both parts) which he completed successfully. The ‘Smeagle/Dungeon Master’ lookalike from Barry must surely be the most improved rider, since starting his Moos career. Well done Frank – keep it up (your pecker that is!)

Following the now mandatory pit-stop at the Maenllwyd (where we had to wait to be joined by Beaker and Chris, who were apparently having a ‘Ron Davies badger-watching moment’ shuffling about in the undergrowth at the Rudry jump spot!), Scrippsy’s gusto deserted him as usual, as he reverted to his former ways by opting out of ‘Blips jump’ and then went over the handlebars, not once, but twice! On ‘garlic lane.’ Trying not to be outdone by the doddering ex-Cap’s efforts, Chris unsuccessfully tried to create an even more stupid descent of a part of garlic lane, by catapulting himself into a hefty tree!

We were met at the Hollybush by ‘Ryan the Dream,’ who had cycled from his afternoon shift on his new skinny-tyred road bike, with two bottles attached – one full of ‘energy earl grey’ and the other ‘recovery Darjeeling!’ Ant could never profess to be one of the more fashion conscious cyclists, but I must say he did look very dapper on his road bike, with his shaven legs, baggy shorts and woolly socks!

After discussing Harty’s new bird-watching hobby (apparently he saw two great tits nesting behind the bar at the Hollybush!) it was back to the Oak for the usual brilliant spread, nicely interrupted by Marty’s story of a colleague vomiting excretion! NICE!

Next weeks ride will be taken by Dai Shop. AAAAAAAYE

Cheers

Cap

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