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Captain's Corner

16th March 2005
Bit of a lack lustre ride this week with only nine riders attending. It was not surprising considering the ride was taken by the lord of lack lustre himself Crock ‘Pet Twat’ Gollum, who, not being one renowned for his timekeeping, turned up at least 10 minutes late! However Crock pushed on with zeal up Lewis Street towards the Cwm singletrack to lead us on what turned out to be quite a good ride (although this seemed to be more luck than judgement, as Crocks usual sense of direction took over and most of the ride he didn’t really have a clue where he was going.

Having to miss to usual Maenllwydd liquid refreshment break, because of the threat of thieves in the area who had been breaking into cars parked outside the pub, it was straight back to Machen via some stony singletrack to Rhyd-y-Gwern lane. Then onto the Royal Oak to meet the new bar stewards.

It was pointed out during the ride that a certain person had behaved very inappropriately on Gaz’s birthday ride the previous Sunday, and that his behaviour should be revealed on the website, so that other Moos could take heed.

The deeds mentioned concern a short-legged Willy Wonka employee who had obviously drunk to excess the night before a Moo members birthday ride. The Oompah Loompah was seen to be pushing his expensive full suspension bike up Turners Lane (which after all is just a warm up). If this act wasn’t bad enough the orange-faced dwarf then proceeded to empty his rather large stomach behind, not one, but several trees in the woods near to the Maenllwydd Inn!

So, It gives me no great pleasure to announce that the Moos committee have given Option the first ‘yellow card’ in its short history. It is not acceptable to portray this image whilst wearing Moo team colours and will not be tolerated in future.

I hope this will be an end to the matter and hope its isn’t mentioned again!

Gaz’s Sunday morning birthday ride also allowed Chrissie Watkins the opportunity to re-stake his claim for ‘Crasher of the Year’ which he apparently took with both hands – flying over the bars on Gaz’s new downhill. Due to this act Chrissie has gained a new nickname, which unfortunately cannot be printed on the website, but I am sure his hero Evel Knievel would be proud of (At the time of writing The Captain can verify how much this crash hurt after re-enacting Chrissie’s stunt the following Saturday!)

Whilst we are on the subject of Moos behaviour a certain Singlespeeding Beaker lookalike was witnessed drinking half pints on a Wednesday evening. I’ve had a word with Geoff whose retort was ‘Being such a big drinker, the rest of the Moos cannot keep up with my beer consumption, so by drinking half’s I can consume more!’ Well done Geoff ‘keep it up.’

On a lighter note I can now confirm that the three Moos teams entered for the Clic24 Hr have been accepted. Good luck to those competing especially those on Crock’s team – you’re going to need it!

Big thank you to the new landlord of the Royal Oak who has welcomed the Moos with open arms and a hearty spread.

Next weeks ride will be taken by Gaz. The theme will be SAUSAGES.

All the best


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