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Captain's Corner- Captain Moo the Turd Waffles

1st February 2006

The fifth ride of the year already, Scrippsy led this ride of thirteen Moos, starting off with some “lane work”. Several Moos were whinging, lanes, tarmac, asphalt etc, “We are a Mountain Bike Club”. Didn’t look good for The ex-Captain Scripps, but it got better. Onto Rudry common and a new Downhill, Scrippsy begs for a 20 second lead on his fellow Moos, he was soon caught and should have been pushed off (the norm).

Dialog during the ride is muted, with the Vice Captain missing (again), fatherhood is biting him on the arse and keeping him home changing nappies. He is also jealous of his boy having longer legs than him at an eighteen inch inside leg at less than one month old.

Eight Inch Dave was there for his second ride in succession and has fitted in very well with all the Moos and their sick/sad sense of humour. He also defended his “Eight inch” title, saying something about “Girth” (we didn’t understand).

Back to the ride, up Caerphilly mountain and onto “Ruperra Castle” via the “Ridgeway”, at this point we had a relatively short climb for a very good single track descent to the Hollybush for a swift shandy. It was noticed that Paul was missing, perhaps he missed the pub and went straight home, we didn’t look for him, assuming the police or a walker would find his body soon.

January’s “Rider of the Month” Geoff was heard to be boasting of his superb cycling prowess, only to be put down by Crocky whose breath didn’t smell for a second week, (this must be a record?)

The ride turned out to be varied and quick, also surprisingly dry, Scrippsy must have forgotten about his Alzheimers to remember all the tracks he had planned.

Only two of “Marys Institute” were riding, the third was kept home by Maxine to do the housework, Ex-Capt Mark, aka, “SOMETIMES”.

Home base was beckoning, sausage and chips and beer being the order of the day, except for the Captain, “Orange juice” and an early night. What a Mary!

The “Machen Miggly Moos” bank account is up and running, we have a cheque book, get you “DD” forms to me ASAP.

That’s it this week I’m bored,

Captain Moo the Turd.

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