Rob “Option, Umpa Lumpa” James the Vice Captain takes the second mid week ride of 2006 with a very good turnout of fifteen riders including three members of the Trethomas & Graig-yr Rhacca “Marys Institute”.
We proceeded up the main track through the woods towards the “Maen”, onto some singletrack and into the undergrowth to a technical and steep descent close to Cwm Leyshon Quarry, I led this section as the Vice Captain was overcome with “Brain Fade” and could not remember his way, (a common affliction of the “Umpa Lump” race). I hit a log across the bottom of the descent and swiftly flew over the bars, several other moos did not make it to the bottom without some serious “adjustments” to their riding style.
Onto the lane and back into the woods and onto a very slippery and muddy track, (Beakers), the first descent claimed its first victim, Tom of the Marys Institute. The next victim was Paul who lost control on a very steep drop off and decided to taste the clay.
Several Moo’s were whinging about the muddy conditions namely the ex captain (another member of Marys Institute), and having to ride across some fields, the first was frosty and the second was very wet and boggy which made the ex captain climax several times in his lycra.
Onto the lane once we found the gate, Tom (Marys Instiute) decided to go skating on the lane nearly wiping out a fellow Moo, “F**king hell the lanes icy” he stated, what does expect in January Rose petals, then onto Rudry common, guess what! It is was very muddy and wet, the ex ex captain Thornton decided to go on detour with some gentle jousting from yours truly, (he should have seen this coming as I pushed him over this edge last summer with the same result), Alzheimers rules, what was I saying?
Down the front of the mountain which is very rutted, “Stunt C**t” stated, “I was flat out down there” Yeah Yeah Yeah. Strawbs attempted to push the reigning captain into a pond but thought better of it.
Thoughts of our first watering hole of the evening were becoming overwhelming and hastily onto the “Church House” in Bedwas for refreshments, through the lanes while throwing caution to the wind regarding the icy lanes. It become apparent that Gordon had been quarrying enroute and emptied his pockets of rocks, (what's going on in the mans head?).
the “Rocky Drop” to the back of Marks house, several Moo’s
decided to change their method of descent half way down, discarding
Tom, “I’m on the wagon for January”, Big Mary.
Mark, “I’ve got a special Lasagne in the oven”, mummys recipe, Bigger Mary.
Steve, “I’ve got to get home and sort out my “Bar Code” collection”, Biggest Mary.
Rob “Umpa Lumpa, Option” James, I’m only having two shandys tonight Glesni’s about to give birth, a sudden guilt trip by the choppsy one who has been pissed for a month, first Moo miracle. Make a note of this one, it will not happen again in our lifetime, (well yours, I’ve seen more christmas’s than I’m going to)
Are you still awake?