Well what can I say? The Captain failed to have a ride for a second week in a row (I must get a day job!). This is where the Vice Captain Rob excels as he loves to take control and basks in the reflected glory. Despite his personal satisfaction he’s doing a great job, he had collected January’s subs and listed all riders in the Captains absence. He promptly handed this info to the Captain on arrival at HQ, proclaiming “We must do a good job as Captain and Vice Captain this year, the last Captain let it go last year”. What did I say about glory?
The best turnout this year and exceptional for a winter ride, EIGHTEEN riders would have been twenty if the Captain could be bothered and Gordon “Scrippsy” Thornton had not faked illness again, cough cough. This is Scrippsys regular excuse, although he turned up at HQ with a note from his Mummy asking if he could be excused from cycling.
Onto the ride, swiftly to and down “Garlic Lane” with Vice Captain exclaiming “It was bone dry and easy”, every other rider stating that it was unrideable, “Chrissy” Watkins stating “This is impossible” - what a statement from the Moos only “Kamikaze” rider.
What planet is The Vice Captain on? The climb up to Ochrwyth and to the Mast for “two” downhill rides back into Machen, the first was straight forward to the top and ride to the bottom, the second 'lets walk back up and do it again'. I can only assume this was the lead riders decision, Owen “Stawbs” Richards. Has he no imagination or is he just senile and forgot that they had just ridden down?
Stawbs jumped at his chance just to take this ride, “It's Scrippsys ride and he ain’t coming, he has cough, Can I take the ride, can I? can I? can I? can I? pleeeeeeease!!”.
HQ beckoned and it is awards night, Rider of the Month was Geoff Davies, he has ridden every session and is riding consistently well. Pint of Guinness downed in 32.2 seconds, big improvement on his Christmas Guinness.
Mark Howells is “T**t of the Month” for failing to turn up at HQ two weeks in succession. Guinness downed in a respectable 6.78 seconds.
The new boy “8 inch Dave”, (I must apologise for not introducing myself as Captain, I did not want to humiliate him as he only has 8 inches) downed a pint of water (he was driving) in 5.06 seconds, good effort!
Scrippsys Birthday, Guinness and a double Whiskey downed in a creditable 31.8 seconds, he went home pissed despite having no money left, he sponged off the Captain for several hours for his “Stella”.
Vice Captain Rob and Gaz have recently become fathers, Congratulations to both, Treble Tequila, Gaz won easily, The Vice Captain basking in glory at actually getting his wife pregnant, (he usually chucks it over his shoulder or on the bathroom floor!)
A warm welcome was extended to “8 inch Dave” from the Moos, apparently his full suss bike was as heavy a small armoured car, but he must be congratulated on some excellent riding skills.
Everybodys leaving now, time for bed Ta Ta.
“Captain Moo the Turd”
P.S. - Moos, lets have your money and direct debit forms ASAP for the monthly subs, Thank u.