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Knotty - another doing Chrissies work for him

4th July 2007

Some say it was the wettest ride since Moo’s records began. Conditions were akin to our favoured winter nights with many Moo’s opting for mud rubber for the impending trails. Eighteen Moo’s assembled, none with new steeds and it was clear that the new Specialised owners from last week had stayed in to polish their rockets. Roger was notably absent, no doubt brushing up on French etiquette and Dickie although present was debating whether he should get a “purple helmet” to go with his probable purchase of a purple Spesh. Further absentees were Option (apparently now in Alpe D’Huez), Scrippsy, Ant, Jock, Shimano Face Brake (Steve 2) and Jim (is his shoulder really that bad?). A special mention goes to OBE who was obviously dressed for the occasion sporting a silver Orange, retro Addidas trainers, plus-fours, mushy pea green stockings and matching smoking jacket.

Commencal Tom was to lead the herd up the usual and straight into the Maenllwyd for a “swifty” and a review of our eventful “day at the office”. We all thought that was that, but alas, it was up to the “steps” where the Captain was seen to be eyeing up the “full bouncer’s” for short-term hire from non-participants to France. Unfortunately no Moo had hire contracts to sign up the deeply concerned Captain who may even be forced to take his Clunker. No doubt the wealth of our Captain is soon to be greatly diminished when he acquires his first residence (subject to survey). Bike hire donations (Euros only) to the Captain would be greatly appreciated.

On descending the steps there were no fallers and it was then to the top of the fire road for a sharp left onto what can only be described as a “water slide” trail. This was to lead to a short, but steep, wooded slope before the Lisvane woods car park. Being at the back of the herd much gaiety could be heard from the “downhillers” who had successfully negotiated the slope and to those who clearly had not. Alex was a prime example having made the misfortune of dabbing his front brake; screaming the words “oh f**k” and promptly scaling his handlebar’s in typical Roger the Moo fashion to head-butt an unsuspecting tree. After suffering the shock brought upon by Moo’s insults rather than the impact Alex recovered and off we went to the Ruperra mud track. It was at this stage that some Moos were to get stuck and others lost in the steadily worsening conditions. Perhaps Johnny Gonzo wanted to get lost to have his “big off” in private, but most concerns appeared to centre about the condition of Scrippsy’s bike, following his 30 mph frog type leap into the hedgerow. Was he looking for a mate? The Captain, as a true leader, resorted to lead the search for the fallen frog to no avail - Johnny being later found with the rest of the herd in the Bush (no pun intended). A sprint back to HQ was the final act of the day aside of the usual “Moos at the trough” and resulting banter.

Post-ride reports and talk of the Village was that Scrippsy’s steel bike was being welded late at night in some back street garage. The local Plod also reported a successful ram-raid at Caerphilly Halfords with gallons of “Sanderson Grey” paint having mysteriously gone missing. Apparently Scrippsy is concerned. Is the Club bike available to Scrippsy?

Vive la France!

KNOTTY

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