Ride leader Kev The Plane
Hi gents, my challenge this week was to not only prepare the report, as lets be honest, the lack of reports lately is not in keeping with the history of the Moos, But I also have to get as many song titles into the report as I can. The challenge was laid by Big Owg.
Each paragraph will have reference to songs by a specific artist / group. See if you can get them and also the titles of the songs.
18 Moos gathered and comments were made about not having to do Turner’s again as every time we went up it, it seemed like everyday was a winding road and Crocket said “all I want to do is have some fun”, so thankfully Kev The Plane said “if it makes you happy” we will head up into the forestry.
By the way Captain where are you? Captain is wanted, dead or alive, probably dying as apparently he has shingles, not according to the doctor though, as he states the rash is too small for shingles, “probably shale” one of the Herd suggested, another suggested what he needs is a good stoning!!! Doctor has prescribed him some bad medicine and I hope it makes him better so we can keep the faith in our leader.
As we set off, smiles were a plenty as it was a very mild October evening, much better than the bad weather we had last week. Speaking with Russ, I asked “did he ride on Sunday?”, “what?” he replied, “Did you ride on Sunday?” I asked again, “when?” he said, “Sunday” I said “Sunday, bloody Sunday!” Off went Kev with or without you up into the woods, where the streets have no name. “Go on Kev, lead the way, I will follow” said Crocket.
Good speed took us through the woods like a bat out of hell and onto the new forestry trail they have laid, at which time I thought to myself, Jock you took the words right out of my mouth, as he said “this climb is now much easier”. Onward to the quarry drop – no accidents this week Gaz!! (2 crashes in 3 weeks), well I guess 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.
Passed the Maenllwyd, onto the next drop where Jock came by like a flash, go on Jock were the words of encouragement – “don’t stop me now” he replied.
On top of the Common is where the bicycle race started down through the ferns, this is where Paul the Olympian crashed, oh well another one bites the dust!
Let’s back track a moment to the Car Park where you may have noticed the new girl group ‘Dogs in cars’, who serenaded us with a snap shot of their forthcoming debut album, titled ‘Dogging in the car park’, which features the singles ‘Get your Dicks out!’ and ‘we got loads of condoms’.
The Maenllwyd was a welcome stop and it was a quick 2 pints and back on to the single track.
As we ended the first section Russ decided to take a nose dive into the logs. As I passed he said “go your own way”. I decided to stay with him as he had a mechanical problem; I think it was the chain. Back into the second section and within 50 yards he came off again, “don’t stop” he said. On I went and built up a lead on him, until I couldn’t see his lights anymore, and then, mine went out!
There I was feeling so lonely and I could not see my hand in front of my face, in fact it was like walking on the moon. I stumbled on some Roxanne some roots and started thinking to myself, De Do Do, De Da Da Da, and then I saw a glimmer of light, it was Russ. Off we went with me following close behind as “I can’t stand losing you” I told him.
Finally back to HQ, where Tom (the trainee OAP) updated us on his mystery trip with Ferris coaches, where Vera had soiled herself just as they got on the M4, and Edna got her teeth stuck in a Toffee Apple at the beach.
His day out with Mummy and Daddy was better as he got to have all the sweets and pop to himself. Daddy had to help him onto the swings, but he was still able to throw stones at his Aunties cat, as it tried to eat his kippers on cabbage. (Look out Mark it’s your turn next week and your off to visit your Muslim relations)
Congratulations to Beaker who finally met a worse drinker than himself. I still think the Triathlete should have had 3 drinks, one for each event!! I bet he would complete the Triathlon quicker than he could finish his drinks.
Thanks to Kev for an enjoyable ride.
There were 7 performers in the above, but how many song titles? If you want to email your responses by next Wednesday and I will see if the VC will give extra Moo Merits for the winner. Email address is email@example.com
Wesley Herman Munster Williams