Ride Leader: Russ
16 Moos this week, good to see Ian back after a few weeks off, obviously haven’t frightened him enough yet. Shame he missed the Gordon incident last week as that would have surely finished him off. Look out on the Halloween ride.
Notable absences were the Two Geoff’s (or Jeff’s), both becoming domesticated, with one probably doing housework and the other taking heed from last weeks comments and looking after his son, perhaps he doesn’t want the captaincy.
More notably, our Captain!!!!!!!!
This following extract was posted on the Moo website this week, perhaps his absenteeism is being noticed around the globe, I think he better take notice –
“The Mountain Bike lawyers of A McBikers & Associates have represented numerous mountain bike AWOL (absent without leave) and desertion charges for the Mountain Bike community worldwide. As in all cases, the actual results will depend upon the facts of the case, as well as the country and ability of rider we are dealing with. In the current justice environment with the Downhill and Cross Country conflicts, we are seeing more bike clubs taking a very stern approach to these cases, often sending the cases to a court-martial, where the accused ends up serving confinement time, a punitive discharge and the resultant civil conviction. We must advise anyone who is currently in an AWOL or deserter status to return to mountain biking immediately - the longer you are absent from your command, the worse the situation will be.”
Captain you have been warned!!!
We exited at The Forge (pub No 1), and headed up Rhacca Lane, quite a pull up here, but the fear of a stoning resulted in the herd congregating someway short of the end of lane, well away from the local Israelites. Only a few came from their huts to witness the herd, but thankfully they were not armed and we all passed by without injury. Down through some new single tracks and we were eventually at the foot of Everest!
Grappling hooks and Crampons came out as we ascended the beast, extra Moo points for those who made it, me thinks VC?, Or deductions for those of who didn’t. Onwards we walked like a herd of beast ‘waiting for DEFRA’.
At the summit Russ led us on towards the grassy Zig Zags, on route Slug, the slimy slippery character, slimmed and slipped spectacularly off the side of the trail and plundered snout over tail down, down and down the banking, much to appreciation of the passing herd. Thankfully he was ok, but the glistening trail he left behind him was visible from The Brad and beyond.
As VC quickly led us into the first bend it was then that like lemmings we followed, as he totally missed the first turn, an unusual error from the VC. But readers, there was an even more astonishing incident to follow.
As we descended the fairly easy trails down towards the Cwm, our resident downhill expert was seen to topple from his steed, never had this been witnessed since my joining of the herd, and I am sure it deserves a huge mention in the Moo Merits this week. Yes Ade had come off his bike!!!
Crockett then advised us how he had told his new companion that he had always considered her a MILTF, to which she replied, “funny that, as I had always considered you a TWAT”. Looking forward to a quick jaunt over to the Maenllwyd he was not pleased when Russ led us back up the Cwm, and over to the Church House (pub2), down passed the Royal Oak (pub 3), the White Hart (pub4), The Bridgend (pub5), The Fisherman’s (pub6), The Monty (pub7) and finally to Crockett’s delight the Maenllwyd (pub8).
Yes Moo’s that is 7 troughs we had passed on the night, whatever happened to the Old Moo stories of drinking rides, are things slipping, is cycling becoming more important?
Finally, it was down singlespeed and back to HQ, once again Gordon declined to follow down the trail, and once again we were greeted by the sight of the Elder Statesman (is that nicer than Grumpy Old Man, Gord?) sitting on a log, playing with a twig between his legs and greeting us with ‘lovely day’ as we sped on by. Another classic moment from the Meddler.
Back at HQ the feeling was Russ had delivered a tough ride and indeed had provided some Old and some New, a job well done. Gordon took his Beer back to the bar as his glass had a chip in it!!!!!!
That’s it for another week and I am off to buy ‘Triumph on Everest’ by Sir Edmund Hillary, just to prepare myself for the next attempt at the Beast.
Next weeks ride is a Halloween fancy dress ride.