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Captain Beaker - How many off-of's will be written here

25th June 2008

THEY ARE TRYING TO F**KING KILL US 'AGAIN'
something about the goons visiting the miggly moos that brings out the sick individuals in your group.just cos options broke his arm on the innaugral meeting between the 2 bitter rivals, the moos have consistantly tried to maim,injure,verbally abuse and generally upset the goons on every visit.personally i think your a bunch of c##ts which is why its such a joy to meet up with the moos annually.as usual we were greeted with a superb welcome and joined in the pic & mix with a few goons getting in on the action,darknell had to fling shit,shep and shaggy picked a climb,archie got a descent and i had to be jumped by some one.up the 1st climb the goons showed they're strength with numerous riders ripping up the hill fast as,1st of the tests sees crocket trying to skid 20 stride and failing,not all is lost as darknell gets some horse sh*t and throws it at crockett as he doing his skid,success for paul and he don't have to head beer.then we start to descend some awesome singletrack hand built by the moos very own trail pixies,this is where the tables turn and moos rip up the trail like trail fairies,where the f**k is darknell?fearing the worst he suddenley turns up to report a moo is down injured on his own turf.only a twisted ankle.next up,or down as it should be is BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN,lower your saddle and you'll be fine said a voice,standing at the top watching moo after moo ride over the top i decide i'll have a go when suddenly reg goes over the top and crashes into a tree,f**k that where's the chicken run followed by all the goons except o'boyle and porter we all make it to the relative safety of TURNERS LANE.what a bastard of a climb,the goons love a tarmac climb.with a few of the tasks to get out the way owgie promptly fails his test then knotty nails his with a little help from crockett,and i think its slug gets the last test of the day done by wiping em out.HOME TERRITORY and archie picking the descent,some fast flowing single track followed by BRICK LANE.wet and slippery the moos enjoy one of our hidden gems.more tasks and gippo gets bunny hopped by SOME ONE,of up the trail and the 1st mechanical sees scrippsy breaking his chain,it must be the power.chain fixed climb up to the coal tips on machen,STILL trying to kill one of us gaz takes us down a scary scree slope,only one goon completes the test JM.all other goons take the easy option which sees shaggy cart wheeling down the easy bit,no injuries a couple of scary moments and we're all of up to the top of machen.snare wins the granny ring race and owgie looses the drinking.down the MACHEN DESCENT again the trail pixies have been doing themselves proud with the best descent in the area down into machen village,a few scary bits for darknell and sheppy but they get down safe with the help of one of the moos.into the pub and the miggly moos hospitality is now legendry,samosas,spring rolls,onion rings,chicken wings ,chips bread and butter,f**king tidy darts.with the riding out the way we get a few beers down with awards going out to best rider,f**k knows who had that but scrippsy got twat of the month and i got a new award made up specially for me on the night.the award turns out to be a pint of guiness with some funny taste that me and scrippsy got to bolt ,as quick as poss,don't fancy my chances against this seasoned ex probut to my surprise i get to within 2 tenths of a second of the record held by the moos big swiller daffyd.with all the fun over and last orders called at the bar its time for goons to head home.big thanks to scrippsy and jeff for getting the ride soughted at such short notice,look forward to seeing you some time in september,all the best JM (goon commander)

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