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Captain Beaker - How many off-of's will be written here

27th February 2008


The Miggly Moos social club were out for yet another non-ride ride, this time courtesy of are very own Lord of the Rings character Crock. We are all aware of Crocks love for all things alcoholic but we were not really prepared for the onslaught that we were to witness…. some may think that I exaggerate but the state of the Moos in the morning was proof of the damage done.

Considering the number of injured or recovering Moos there was again a good turnout of 19 keen riders including are resident OAP and Bowls champion Scrippsy. He claims he doesn’t want to ride on a Wednesday because of his bad neck and the likelihood of an injury but in the past the worst injuries have happened when we are drunk so I don’t quite understand his logic!! That’s age for you.

Anyway, the drinking started after a quick lap around the roads of Machen (about ½ mile) with a Port in the Legion. The next port of call was the Holly Bush where another 2 drinks were consumed. At this point we lost Gaz who decided he wasn’t in the mood for this and went for a ‘Ride’ and we would not see him until later doing the Quarry run then eventually meeting us I the Maenllwyd. 4 pints were consumed in here and eventually most of the Moos literally crashed out of the pub for a quick ride through the woods back to the TA. Again Gaz started a one-man rebellion and shot off to the pub on his own for his tea, followed by my good self who needed to go home to pick up notes for the ‘Crap’ speech.

Back at the TA the normal mountain of chips and fried food was replaced by 2 small plates of sandwiches thanks to Crock prior arrangements, which did nothing to soak up the alcohol at all.

As it was the end of the month it was awards night and also birthday drink for Roger (Lord F). As usual the awards were close this month with the unusual occurrence of 4 people being awarded in February.

The Rider(s) of the month went to Chrissie for his wild riding, enthusiasm and the fact that he took Ade to hospital the previous week and waited until he was ready to go home and to Option for his consistency and bringing his own brand of cutting humour and wit back to the club (and turning up for his own ride for once!)

The Twat(s) of the month didn’t go to Crock for a change, although I would have awarded him it again, but to Gaz and myself for apparent selfish riding and a lack of club spirit. My decision was overruled by the Vice….. I will remember that.

The night finally finished around 12 and we all literally fell out of the pub and went home. My head was a bit fuzzy in the morning but at least my bedside table didn’t get a soaking!! Eh Chrissie ‘Pissy’ Watkins.

Saturday night saw the 2008 Riders Wives dinner at the Fwrrm, which was a great success, if a little quieter than Wednesday. Noticeable absentees were Option who admitted to be having a crap weekend and Crock who had a puncture in his girlfriend, which was a shame. Thanks though must go to the ex-captain who organised a great night and brought the whole thing together in his unique style.

Next weeks ride should be a good one as it’s Berni’s turn. Turners here we come!!

See you Wednesday.


Captain Beaker

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