Simon’s virgin ride
I woke up on Thursday morning after having had the most vivid, yet weirdest dream ever, it went something like this…………………
Newcomer Simon Clarke had gathered the Moo’s for his debut ride as leader, and had based his ride on Le Tour de France.
we set off from légion britannique royale we headed
into the bois de Machen (Machen woods), climbing the category 3 climb
of Rhyd y Gwern la petite route.
The auberge de hollybush was our destination and after a few words of temptation from the Moos, ride leader Clarke, riding for team ‘stinking thong’ quite rightly stuck to his guns and continued with the ride, explaining to Capitaine, riding for team ‘El Capitaine’ that we need to at least get some Kilometres under our belt first. A casualty emerged from the peloton, Rog Parnell racing for team ‘shite downhiller’ binned it on the flat section after trying to interfere with Scripsy – Scripsy loves a bit of interference!!!
It was a fast pace along the petite route de pays, there was a breakaway at the front, led by Capitaine and quickly joined by Vice, Griff, Gaz & Reg. Soon the peloton caught up and the first watering station, auberge de Maenllwyd caused the pace to slow up.
The race finally went into serious mode as the huge peloton made their way up the Cote de Rudry Commun, no one had the legs to pass the ride leader on the climb, but a powerful sprint by Capitaine led to a few challengers, it also resulted in a few being left behind and Parnell’s day got even worse when he slipped some gears and yet again had to dismount his bike. Gaz racing for team ‘self’ reached the peak first. Casualties were noted, where another member of team ‘shite downhiller’ had crashed on the nasty 2 inch kerb – oh hang on it was actually Rog Parnell again !!!
A bit of terrain rugueux (rough terrain) stretched out the riders
and the descent towards village de Rudry, seen the riders stagger into
the second drinking station.
It was noted that there were some disqualifications as a few riders took a detour, namely Gaz, team ‘Self’, Jimmy Mc, team ‘Circumcision’, Owgie, team ‘tell me what the time is’, Griff, team ‘Vertigo’ and Dave Barnes of team ‘crucifixion’.
Capitaine was first back and took the leaders thong off Simon Clarke and will probably lead next weeks ride with last years downhill champion, Nick Berni giving us a feel for the forthcoming downhill champs.
After the 3 stops at the watering stations there was plenty of banter
and joviality at HQ.
further celebration was announced and for the first time a 20-year
wedding anniversary was celebrated by the Moos – congratulations
Ant, have another Guiness.
My dream then turned into a nightmare, did I really see………………………
• Was Russ trying to Roger Ant up against the bar?
• Did Russ go rampaging across the TA bearing his all and sundry?
• Did Russ actually put his appendage in Cap’ns ear?
• Just what were Russ and Jock actually doing with those balloons? – did they not realise they could not be inflated anymore?
• Was it possible that Gordon did actually get over excited by all the shenanigans? And actually spray some liquid all over our incumbent Captain.
• Did this lead to a beer fight between the remaining Moos?
you can imagine I was totally relieved once I woke, as I realised
that there was no way that the events of my dream could have actually