Gentlemen, it is with deep regret that I have to advise of my failure to undertake my duties. I have not been strong enough in my demands on fellow riders to ensure that ride reports and merits are kept up to date each week, for your viewing.
Mr Vice can’t seem to add up and doesn’t seem to understand simple Excel spreadsheet functions, even though he advises he works for SPAR in the IT department. I now realise that he works in the Impaired Trolley department!!!
Mr ride leader has also failed us in his duty to do this ride report. He did confirm last week, no problem Captain. Then on Saturday he insisted I will get it done, and upon checking on Monday, he advises his family is sick and bad. If you had done the report last week you wouldn’t have the added guilty conscious either!!
Congratulations to Simon and Julian (they sound like a right pair of TV interior designers, if you know what I mean?) for completing their 10 rides, welcome to the official club – where are you Mr Newbury?
23 riders turned up for a feast of a ride. No Moo Merit leader this week, who will be taking over at the top? Could be anyone if we let Mr Johns keep doing em!!!
Broke Back to start – who whimped out then? C’mon own up you chicken livered has beens. Yes Mr Ade, you did, you may have woken up and thought you had had a nightmare, but believe you me you did chicken out! I know because Gordon (Scripsy) told me, cause he was watching from the bottom, admiring my new bike!!!!
By the way Gordon, sorry Scripsy, asked me to make sure I called him Gordon, ooops Scripsy, in the future merits and ride reports. He doesn’t like being called Scrispy, em Gordon, on the website, I think he must have some ‘Double Life’ going on with Mrs Gordon, I mean Mrs Scripsy. One week he is the Old man who likes a cuddle at home on the sofa, the next his alter ego ‘Scripsy’ appears and takes her up Biffins!!!
Carling Tree provided the first downhill, quite a few refusals again I am advised – we know who you are!
Ochrwyth beckoned, and up and right we went, into the woods. A rather long quick descent prevailed, with many differing terrains making sure my new bike fully used it’s allover suspension parts – except for the fact that I had it all locked out – All the Gear no Idea, me thinks.
A long flowing ride back to the Underpass – Gordon, sorry scripsy, stop thinking rude things!!
The long climb back to the Car Park gave a few of the guys a reason to see how well their bikes went up hill without them on, gentlemen this is a MOUNTAIN BIKE CLUB, If you are not going to ride with us properly go and join, Kev the Plane and Knotty who have just formed the Ystrad Bradach Pavement Biking Club.
Perretts field to finish off what was altogether a very enjoyable ride, thank you Mr Owg, just a shame you are going to lose a merit point next week, for over-promising and under-delivering – FATAL!
Please note a word of warning – It is supposed to be Chrissy Watkins’ ride this week – God help us if he turns up we could be joining up with the Ystrad Bradach boys!!!