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Cap'n Peal - Bam Bam

14th July 2010

The Downhill Preview Ride

Our reigning Downhill champ, Nickle Arse Burn Knee had the privilege of taking us on a preview ride for the 2010 Downhill Champs. 28 riders were eager to see what would await them on the upcoming Saturday.

Notable absences were–

Jeff Free Day Vees, Fill Lip How Hells, Russ Sell Heavens, Day Vid More Gan and Joe Nathan right.
Off up into the woods we went, keeping tight to the fence, although we had had some rain, the track still rode quite firm and there was an excellent effort made by the boys to cleanly ride all the way up the single track, until Nigh Gell fell off.

It was onward up the firetrack, to pick up the singletrack back across to the top of Kris Hay Mmmms’s back trail. We rode the top section and a few of the un-educated of us didn’t realise that the whole idea of having a leader was that we follow him, so Captain Knee ill Will He Umms sped off to bring back the rogue riders. I think they included Hand Toe Knee Heavens, Hand He Griff His and Kev Hin Hold Her.

Once we had rejoined the group, leader Nickle Arse was kindly reminded that the whole idea of leading the ride was that you tell people where you are going.

The trail took us through some undergrowth and across the main forestry track, down through the open section and across the main forestry track, carrying on down the jumpy bit, which has been re-vamped for the downhill and ending up through the stream onto Rhyd Y Gwern Lane. Not a bad run, I got the feeling that the plan for the downhill was that Nickle Arse was looking for length (just like his Mrs).

Stage 2, seen us back up through the main forestry track to the bench, where Vice decided he would try and out ride Cap’n to the top – he bloody did as well!!

From the bench we set off from the main track, past Garlic and on to Mossy Lane, the top section rode well, but then came the dreaded ‘S’ bend drop, smash into the tree went Jeff Free Were Lock, smash into the tree went Wrustle Ludd Lo, smash into the tree went numerous others including Knee ill.

A tad more rain and this would be very interesting come Saturday.

A quick stop at the Bush, and it was off up OkerWeeth. It was a push up to the Mast to the start of the brand new Kris Hay Mmmms’s track. Stage 3, we followed the Qualcast Concorde trimmed trail, that led us smoothly (not) down to the fence, and onto the new section.

The light was getting dim and the new trail was not appreciated by the masses, after they finally made it to the old see-saw. At this point I have never seen so many Moaning Miggly Moos.

A quick stop in The Oak, and it was back to HQ for the usual gruel and birthday drinks for Jock and Simon, with the added delight of a faggot.
Is that they first time the have been drinking with a faggot, I hear you ask. No is the answer because Crockett rides with them every Sunday.


An Announcement

It was at this point that Cap’n had a count of riders willing to attend the planned downhill, and it was clear that there were going to be more Moos marshalling rather than racing, naturally this was a big disappointment for Nickle Arse, after the planning and effort he has been putting in, with the help of Kris Hay Mmmms.

The Committee sat and sadly ruled that the 2010 Downhill Champs would have to be postponed, numerous factors were assessed in making this decision, such as, The weather, the work required to set up the tracks, the timing, the clothing of the Marshalls proved to be looking very costly, people on holidays, boys going shopping, boys having their haircut, boys not wanting to get hurt, but the ultimate decision came down to the fact that too many Moo’s just could not be bloody bothered to turn up!
I will announce the re-scheduled date soon.

Feeling really let down, Nickle Arse Burn Knee headed off home with his tail between his legs, well actually it was between his Nickle Arse and the Cap’ns thong that he still had on – Oi! Nickle Arse give it back will you.

Keep Mooing

Cap’n Peal

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