This week it was saw our resident Miggly Moo “Hello Sailor” to orchestrate the ride, seeing as Dai wrote a ride report a number of weeks ago vice offered to put pen to paper. As we are in the middle of the school holidays – numbers were relatively low this week, big hand must go to Reg for riding with his Klunker inflicted wound – a fractured cheekbone, now I’m not one to gossip but I have heard that when Reg visited the hospital they wouldn’t operate on his injury, apparently they only operate if they deem the injured person has any good looks to remunerate, unlucky Reg you ugly b*****d!
Once everyone had arrived at the legion, Dai rounded the herd and set-off on his route, onwards and upwards to the forestry track saw us traverse left off the main track and downwards onto Rhiwd-y-gwern lane, this I’m lead to believe is an old track but a new one for the majority of the Moos. At this point of the evening we were missing a rider, was he hurt, was he just plain slow or was he the victim of some tom-foolery? Yes by all accounts Ant (not the nice one) lost all use of his front brake, Harty has more information on the matter but had nothing to do with grabbing his Ant’s bars – honest guv!
Captain Marvel made some frantic calls to the missing Moo – alas no response, he was to be banished to the woods for the rest of the night without sight or trace! The ride continued along the lane, through Lower Machen and up road climb to Five Lanes, once we traversed across the top we were treated to a tricky downhill which the majority of Moos completed in some fashion, onwards again downhill through the woods onto some virgin territory, talking of virgins it was Enzo’s first ride tonight for many a month, rewind this could have bern his first ride in years come to think of it... Anyhow the new section was sweet which saw us glide into Rhiwderin and into the first watering hole of the night the Rhiwderin Inn, at this point it was noted that another elder statesman of the herd was missing this time Knotty was gone – Vice asked Harty if any further tom-foolery had occurred and again Harty had no knowledge of any, out of no-where Ex captain Knotty appeared – panic over although a certain member of the Moos was taking a closer look at the style of window that was on display – Jesus!
Whilst enjoying some liquid refreshment the landlord of the Inn offered us some fresh cakes, it was a kind gesture which was greatly appreciated even if they were a little out of date, by all accounts Bag of Leaves was due to pick them up the following day so they could be sold to the camera trigger happy Japanese tourist that often frequent the Tea Rooms opposite Caerphilly Castle... No not you Newbury!
After a solitary pint it was back up the towards five lanes track only this time in reverse, no I seem to recall at this point Scripsy making an important announcement – no not his retirement, it’s to do with the use of lights in the summer months, his exact words were “No Lights In August”, “No Lights In August”, “No Lights in August” – please adhere to this wise old man’s words. Dai led us towards the maaaaarrrrrrssssttttt as Beaker would say and as the light was fading it was a sprint down Perrots field, merits points were on offer to anyone trying to re-in act Wrights crash a number of months ago, Vice took it upon himself to have a good crack at this much to the delight of OBE
Dai led the herd safely back to HQ, after consuming chip sandwiches, burgers and several pints of liquid refreshment we were treated to the belated birthday drink of Guinness and Whisky Jesus polished off with consummate ease. A good ride I think was had by all – well all apart from Ant, after losing the Moos, Ant went home and was just in time to catch the end of his favourite television program – Emmerdale!
Next week’s ride leader is Crockett – so bring plenty of money no doubt and expect a crap ride!
Ring Ding Ding...