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The new Captain addresses the troops!

20th January 2010

What a Muddy Marvellous Ride

Ride leader – Knotty
No of riders – 22 (you know who you are)
Notable absences – None

Get well soon messages go to Mr Scripps for being ill and having to delay his return to the herd, also missing Brechfa – you will be missed. The rest of you last minute drop outs won’t be!

New Ride leader clothing revealed and Mr Knott proudly displayed the Glittering Thong, stepping into the garment with no hesitation and a great big smile on his face – weirdo.

For the third week running off into the woods we peddled, a great deal easier this week were the comments as we climbed up to the benches. A swift turn back on ourselves, in to the woods and down the rocky descent to Rhyd-y-Gwern Lane.

Jock – like a man on a mission, came flying passed Cap’n, who cracked under the pressure from behind – just like Knotty’s arse in that Thong.

Lane work it was up to the Quarry, entering to go up the climb back to do the quarry drop. Mud, Mud Glorious Mud, nothing quite like it to crash with a thud – ouch as Cap’n hit a tree – probably not the only one to come a cropper.

At the top of the quarry we had a refusal from Dave ‘Digger’ Barnes – who went on to meet us at the Maenllwyd.

Onward into Lisvane woods we went – well most of us. Sorry Option, Ant & Jesus this is not on – departing the ride just because you weren’t feeling up to it – you guys are fit, imagine how some of us less able riders feel every week – Wimps.

Then came the jumps, 7 class clearances of the top jump and then came Russ Ludlow’s attempt on the middle one. After crashing coming down the wooded steps from the Lisvane woods you would have thought he would have taken the chicken run. But No, defiant he was to clear the jump, but what he forgot to do was actually ride on the ramp.

FIRST ATTEMPT – Crash slipped off to the left and ended up nearly spearing his arse on a sticking out root.

SECOND ATTEMPT – Crash slipped off to the right and ended up lying face first over the fallen tree.

RUSS – give it up !!!!

Maenllwyd was the stop for a beer, where the smug looking Option, Ant and Jesus were comfortably sitting having a lovely chat. They are going to start a coffee evening soon.

More single track led us back to HQ, where it was noted that Mr Ryan to add to an overall poor night’s riding, was blaming his new bike for his performance. Chain Suck, Chain Suck, more chain Suck. Oh Suck, Sucking Hell, I’m well Sucked Off (got a place for this?)

Back at HQ it was good to actually be able to hear each other talk, well some of you anyway.

Harty advised how hard the ride was given that he has added an extra stone to his torso – I noticed he felt a lot slimmer when a non-riding Moo walked in to a mass of cheers from the herd.


Two weeks ago it was declared that some years ago, while living in Cardiff, a certain self declared Non Porn user, ACCIDENTALLY signed up to a certain website. He then realised some weeks later that a payment was ACCIDENTALLY being taken from his account. He contacted his card company and had to explain to the member of staff how this ACCIDENT had occurred, and was advised that he would have to ACCIDENTALLY re-enter the website and ACCIDENTALLY take down the phone number and then ACCIDENTALLY dial the number and contact the website owners to further explain his ACCIDENT and to have his details removed.

To his embarrassment this he did.

Didn’t you Mr James?

Finally may I say what an excellent ride it was given the conditions. Well done Mr Knott.

Riders wives is on as I have 48 confirmed, still a few to check so price is coming down, thanks for your support.

Next weeks ride is actually being taken by Phil, and it will be Monthly Awards and Me and Me Vice have arranged for some entertainment (not strippers Beaker).

Keep Mooing!

Cap’n Peal

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