Roger’s Ride as Seen by Vice!
In the Captain’s absence this week, Vice prompted Roger to write a ride report unfortunately he was too busy to write one as has been channelling all his effort in trying to break his record of 3 ½ hours of non-stop love making, sorry Rog you cannot include watching episodes of Monarch of the Glenn with a girl in this love-making record!
I thought we were in for some fun and games, I turned up a little late at around 6.40ish, on arrival I could see Roger’s bike but no Roger – where could he be? Try 15 foot up a tree retrieving Gordon’s seat post – a good start to the night.
The number of riders for this Wednesday night ride stood at 14, there were to be no more, off we rode heading past the SPAR shop (did you know 2 bottles of NRB Coca Cola currently retail at £1.70!). We then proceeded into the Royal Oak estate, at this point everyone thought it was Butt’s field for a climb – not this week, Roger had done his homework for the ride and took us straight to the Royal Oak pub – pity this watering hole has been shut for several months, “never mind” I heard Roger comment “I have a plan B”.
Heading closer to Roger’s abode, we turned left into the quarry and up towards the farm, a route that hasn’t been ridden for a while, once past the farm another decision for Roger to contemplate, “do we go left to for the mast or right for five lanes?” after a little hesitation Rog chose Five Lanes, at this point it must be noted that Roger warned us all that “if you have pads – I would put them on now”, everyone applauded his words, fortunately there were to be no casualties over the little sprinkling of twigs – thanks for the advice Rog!
After a little rocky descent another decision greeted Roger – turn left or turn right? Without hesitation Roger chose the latter and we headed for our first pint in the Rhiwderin Inn, as we strolled in we passed a Buster Merryfield lookalike more famously known as aka Uncle Albert. During the pint Roger informed us of the long climb back up to five lanes – true to his word we drunk up and proceeded to head for the Friendly – this time Rog had foxed us! Another quick pint was consumed and we headed out for the long ride straight into the Ruperra – most people opted to drink outside, a few stayed inside and decided to befriend Rockin Roger and his mobile music quiz – Daf was extremely interested in Roger as he informed us all at the moment in Asda Newport you can get a good selection of CD’s for only £1 whilst stock lasts – thanks rockin Roger!
Before rockin Roger had chance to start his compendium of cheap ASDA CD’s we were off again – were we going to have a ride, were we going to have a drink, Roger not the rocking one decided on the latter and we headed out for the Tredegar Arms. At this point of the evening I must comment on something that makes the Moos unique in the world of MTB – the different facial expressions of Beaker and OBE summed up the night, Beaker’s face said it all whilst OBE’s was one of “where’s my next pint coming from?”
Another pint was consumed in the TA, and then everyone gathered outside to marvel at the quality of the roof tiles, or was the roof thatched, or was it just full of MTB seat posts and saddles.
Once everyone had something for their aaaaarrrrrssssse (just for you Beaker) to sit on we rode into the night and headed for HQ. Along the way someone mentioned to Vice that it was also Roger’s birthday on Thursday – thanks Harty, you know who your friends are Roger!
Another lovely spread was laid on by the Juliet and the girls – this week it was hot dogs and chip butties, a general collection was made and Roger then had the envious task of consuming his birthday drink, double whisky, pint of Guinness and a little green thing which I don’t know the name – this was for a newly created award – best ride of the year so far as voted by OBE!
This was one of those nights in that “We didn’t go far but we had some fun – and I was there!”
Another quote that summed the night up was the text message I received from Roger at 12:30am it read “Hello I’m F****d” – must have been that little green drink?”
Remember to bring your slick tyres next week as the ride is being taken by the Elder Statesman of the club!
Ring Ding Ding...