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Welcome the new Captaincy

2nd February 2011

Ryans Rant

The rain had just stopped which probably encouraged a few extra riders who normally would of stayed in. A good “Turnout” of approx twenty five riders for such a “Scheisse” night.

The ride starts onto a rarely used track which is not often frequented by dog walkers and no “Dog Eggs” were disturbed. Onto the main track which was like riding through “Coeliac Flux” and onto the fields avoiding the sheeps “Intestinal Sculptures”.

Onto the lane to Rudry common through which was awash with “Satans P*ss”. The track onto the common was very difficult due to the “Scat” conditions under tyre. The Moos were spread out by about half a mile by this stage with many moaning about how hard it is riding through “Chocolate Pudding”.

Up to Cometsons and onto the Ridgeway, conditions did not get any better through the “Poo-Poo Platter” which led us to a little used technical and slippery downhill which did not produce the expected carnage through the “Mississippi Mud”. Harty missed this section and started his lonely walk home due to his ”Butt Mud” maintenance. A this point the Ginger Warlord joined us, he was late, “Creamy Butt Nuggets” everywhere from his little ginger arse was his excuse.
A gentle but long climb which had the Moaning Moos bleating again, up the “Feaces Freeway” we climbed onto the Ridgeway.

After a considerable wait and time running away it was decided that a quick dash to the Forge for refreshments due to the waiting riders getting cold and “Sh*tsicles” forming on our extremities, Crocky stop shaking it!!

All Moos arrived safely at the Forge avoiding the frequent appearance of “Colon Cobras”, refreshed and onto HQ. Pie & Chips and beer but no “Chocolate Pudding”!!!!

Ta ra for now.


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