Captain Daf’s first ride
The first ride of the year as Capt. 2011, wearing a pair of boxer shorts with kisses all over them as the new ride leader’s garment. 29 riders waited with high anticipation waiting to see what I had in stall for them. After an indulgent Christmas and New Year I thought the boys needed a turkey burner ride to lose a few excessive pounds we had all put on.
With a few moans and groans we ascended up Turner’s lane, there was a lot of coughs and talk about how ill the herd had been over the holidays, some explaining how much mucus they had been producing, some stating how long they had the squirts for!!!!
We all congregated up on top of the lane gathering around like penguins, as I counted the herd in Mark Owgie suggested there was a phantom Big Mikey who vanished up Turner’s Lane?? After discovering he was ‘bulling me’ we rolled on-wards and up-wards towards the top of 2 mile climb, and blasted down the Sirhowy D/H which was particularly wet and greasy. At the bottom of the Sirhowy walk we came across an xx Capt. He just telepathically knew we’d be coming down there! We made our way up towards Ynys Hwyel, but had to conquer some hazardous obstacles first, the giant landslide which took out the whole Ynys Ddu, the herd attempted to navigate around without success so decided to leap over the huge crater hole in an Evel Kenevil style leap of faith. (Well done boys, we did get over it, and some imaginations have gone wilder than others.)
again began climbing and faced the 2 mile climb, some hoping we’d
stray off course and ride an easier route back up, but my “Fascist
nature” brought the herd back into line, and continued up. When
we had all again gathered up on top of the tips we took the zig zags
route down into ‘Mutineers country’ (Bedwas) and into the
Church House. There I expected to be held up in kangaroo’s court,
for my impulsive decision to leave some of the Herd in the Ruppera
Arms on the Capt’s handover ride, especially my beloved Kato,
whom I deeply regret leaving behind, and not pursuing my orders to
strive on forth on to the Stage Coach bus, now my name has been ridiculed
in the Western Mail, for which I must confront my demons and show I
will not hide away from the embarrassing event. Moos it will not happen
again, and yes my marriage is already under strain due to the mounting
pressures of the Moos.
“Hello gentlemen and welcome to 2011, and your new elected captains of 2011, I’d like to reflect on the spectacular year the Moos have had last year and how well organised the events were. Neil and johnsy worked extremely hard to put it together and it’ll be a hard act to follow. So that brings us on to this year, and to consider, how can we compare? How can we improve? Well there maybe you sinics might say they won’t. And they might be right, but let me tell you all now, that this club is not a single/solo team, it’s a club whom everyone will need to club pull together in order to have the best year the Moo’s have had so far. This can only happen by each individual club member playing their part, this will be done over a beer, and I’ll be asking individuals to assist me in doing so. I’ll also be organising the ‘Moo’s Meeting’ which will help us better plan events, trips etc. This will consist of X captains and vices, the most recent to the most influential. And I will ‘embrace’ everyone to be able and approach me and vice with ideas to contribute to the club.
I would also like to announce a senior state’s man who hasn’t had the recognition that he deserves, he is like the Gerald Davies of the WRU, some say he ejaculates radio active semen which can be found in California others say he loves a fajitas, but all we’re going to know him as is The El Presidente’ as senior states’ man, Scrippsy. This title will obviously be passed down when he retires again, and passed down to the next senior state’s man, who will that be???.”
Next year’s schedule
1. Winter Trip to Aberyst-watch, 29th
January. We already have 12 definites in place for the trip.
So there you are gents a gentle bit of bed time reading.
Embrace your beers and keep on Mooing!!!