Sport’s Night 1 - A Valentine’s Theme
27 riders eager to compete met at the Legion, there has been talk of steroid use amongst the herd which the results will indicate their usage. The course consisted of 4 timed trials; which started from the Legion and up to the top of the Carling Tree; The Moos jack hammered their cranks in the pursuit of being the timed trial’s champion. Some were like ‘whippets’ and others just wanted to get to the pub in a fast time.
2nd sprint went down the Carling Tree and a race across the entrance of the Holly Bush. This trail was the only real D/H section of the event, and was particularly ‘greasy’ to say the least. Schlong marshalled the bottom of the jump and ensured they all took the desired route. Schlong noted 3 crashes from Harty, Glanmor and Dai the eye. Once everyone had gone over the finish line they had a valentine’s questionnaire to fill out in 30seconds. The questions consisted of thing like-
What do you need to kiss to turn it into a Prince? Answers A, a cock, B, a frog, C, a minge.
I know what I would have answered.
3rd timed trail went from the Holly Bush and up the Ridgeway and down to the Griffin car park. After a quick breather and a pint the herd was sent on their way again. This part of the event saw the herd racing from the Bush, up towards the Maen and up the Ridgeway, up towards the Drop of Death. The herd was then directed down the rocky, muddy D/H on- towards the finishing line at the Griffin car park.
4th timed trial went from the Griffin car park and up Rudry Mountain. Up Rudry Mountain Scrips and Schlong was herding the racers past and making sure they all had a sample shot of Moo’s whiskey wine mix and down to the Monte where the finishing line was.
5th timed trial, well this was a ‘ploy’ to get the herd back to the Tits and Ass (TA) quicker, and it worked. We needed to do this so we could get the herd fed and watered, and begin the Game show night.
Mr and Mrs was the chosen game show theme and no one knew what delights were in stall for them. When the music came on from the Mr and Mrs Quiz show; Vice Newbs then asked the riders to come up front and sit on the decorated table of love if they see their wives on the opening trailor of the video. Pealy, Johnsy, Scripsy, Beaker and Wrighty all spotted their wives and sat on the table of love. The objective was to ask the same questions to the husbands as were asked to the wives, although when Vice Newbs and Rob James are involved there’s always a twist in the tail. For every correct answer they answered the same as their wives they gain a point, and an incorrect answer meant downing ½ pint of Guinness and 0 points. There were 8 questions in total to answer.
The questions caused the pub to raw with laughter as the whole of the pub was engaged in our show. Things got slightly more embarrassing for some as one of the contestant’s father-in-law appeared from nowhere in the crowd, whom was discovering a bit more information about his son-in-law and daughter than he wanted know!!! All of the questions and answers were hilarious and such performances should/could get recognition on Live at the Apollo. I must state that Sue Thornton knows too much about Scripsys dirty sheets. Johnny Wright was our Mr & Mrs champion of the sport’s night, and it goes to show lads, Wrighty knows more about his wife than we know about our own. A big thanks to all the contestants you are all ‘good sports.’
The wives of the contestants went along with our questions. They were fantastic and all deserve Oscars for their outstanding performances. Thanks girls.
So there concludes, another event gone and very successfully as well. Thanks to everyone who took part, Marshalled, helped make the Mr and Mrs Trophy, and helped take part or put together the video. I’m looking forward to our next event and hope you’re all as eager as you all were in this one.
Embrace your beer Moos, and keep on drinking.