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Welcome the new Captaincy

29th January 2011

Aberysyt-watch Trip

The day began with 10 men all revved up ready to go to Aber who met in the Fwrrwm car park, Phil, Russ, Pealy, Roger, Schlong, Lewis, Julian, Gaz, Kev, and the Captain Daffney. The temperature was -5 Celsius and we were all eager to go and ‘shred the knarl’ up in Nant-yr-Arian.

Meeting at Nant we met our Option who had been staying up Aber at the time. Just before hitting the trails, Phil’s shox spilled out all its contents of oil from inside them, which we all said in turn “lack of maintenance.” The trail we were going to be riding was the Continental Syfyridin trail, which combines all the best bits of Nant’s trails. We all proceeded gradually to the top of the first climb before straying off on to our first bit of single track D/H. We all got to the bottom with smiles on our faces and a few of us saying “that’s just like Morzine, although Morzine’s trails go on for miles.”

I could write on and on about how amazing the trails were, and they have something for everyone’s abilities, but guys, it’s something you’ll have to experience for yourselves. So that’s enough of the boring stuff and onto the shenanigans of the night.

After a superb morning and early afternoon of riding we were all ready to eat anything that came in our way, so Option directed us to a place where he eats regularly called “The Druid Inn” there we harassed the bar man to take our orders promptly, otherwise I think we would have raided the kitchen ourselves. The food eventually arrived and we all ate like pigs in troth, not a scrap left. Option was like a vulcher ready to pounce on anything that remained on anyone’s plate. After our bellies were full and a few pints on board, we were ready to get showered up and hit the town.

Back at the bunkhouse we got on our glad rags and freshened ourselves up. Roger P got out his GHD’s and to those of you who don’t pay attention to your wives when they say “Those GHD’s are the best hair straighteners a WOMAN can get” then let me tell you that they are 2 ceramic plates that warm up, and women and lady-boys use them to straighten their hair. Well we have one of those lady boys amongst us gentlemen. And later on in the story you’ll find out what Schlong and I do to make a man of him. And yes he was straightening his 1cm locks of hair before we went out, it was so impressive that Gaz had ago, although they didn’t work on him, a load of shite I thinks.

So into town and into our first pub, and into what seemed to be the Weathespoon’s station. We moved swiftly onto another pub as our 2 young friend’s ID made them out to be 17 (born in 1994), even though Lewis was convinced he was 18 but his ID proved otherwise, you need to learn to count boys. Into the next pub where the lads were looking tired from a long day, so a couple of announcements were called for to liven up the atmosphere, or kill it.

Rider of the day: Julian for riding a bike that suited a bmx track and not the vast mountains which we had, although still rode like a demon.

Crash of the day: This went to Gaz and Option for their collision which happened whilst descends down a rocky/icy trail, and both going head on in to each other.

Birthday Drink: And to Russ who was 50 yrs old the week before, his favourite bit of tipple, Jameson’s Whiskey.

The night became a bit of a blur from then on, and things could only get messy. Back at the bunkhouse we all met back up, some with chip, others with kebabs and others with sweets and chocolate. Ironically after I had found and raided the kitchen’s lada I made my way back to bed, prior to me settling down for the night I noticed all blue dye all over my hands and Schlong and Lewis laughing like school children. Schlong had painted the door knobs with the stuff.

All the other lads were sleeping, so it was decided to go and paint their faces with this engineers blue stuff!!. Schlong and Lewis walked into the other lads bedroom like assassins, as I barged in like a bull in a china shop shouting “I got a F###### 800 lumen torch here so we can see who and what we’re are doing!!” All of a sudden, Roger P pounced and it was like a wrestling match happening, as the lads still slept comatosed, there was a huge commotion happening, that could only match the Rumble in the Jungle, or The Rumble in Plas Dolau

We smashed and bent and grabbed and bit and struggled and scrapped and burnt. Beds were flying, wardrobes were being put on top of each other and clothes were being torn. This could sound like a porn movie but it wasn’t, it was like a UFC cage fight. Roger eventually gave up and went to sleep in his car, good enough for him; he should have allowed us to paint the boy’s faces with Schlong’s blue engineering paint. It was f****** hard to get off, as Russ Ludlow found out as he had it on his privates, we could hear his screams as he scraped the engineer’s blue off his old boy in the morning, although I’m not convinced he was scraping. Schlong also discovered in the morning that he had to go around the bunkhouse attempting to clean this engineers blue paint off the walls, the sinks, door knobs, beds, kettles, well just about everywhere.

So there concludes my diary entry for the Aberwyst –Watch trip 29th January 2011. What was a superb day, stunning weather and one hell of a good laugh. Thanks to those who turned up, and an extra thanks to those who drove, which was Roger, Phil and Pealy. Look forward to our next trip.

Hope the shenanigans continue.

Captain Daffney

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