a good few weeks of sunshine and abnormally hot weather Capt. Johns
asked me to take this week’s ride. The weather
soon changed and snow was even forecast for this particular Wednesday.
the basis of the freezing wind and also the extreme weather forecast,
24 riders still braved the elements and met outside the legion
at the standard 18.30hrs. One rider did call me on Tuesday night
and explained that he wouldn’t be riding due to the cold weather
that was forecast. I won’t mention any names but all I will
say is that the following morning I did see him outside Machen infants
school with a bag of sweets and a long coat braving the cold conditions.
(His arthritis wasn’t very apparent as he frantically chased
the kids around the yard).
set off in the direction of the Maenllwyd through the forestry
to Broke back. We have been experiencing a lot of riders shitting
out lately on Broke back and tonight would be no exception. Capt.
Johns reliably informed me that only 15 out of the 24 riders
actually did broke back and the rest went AWOL…..again!
up through the woods on to the forestry break. An old trail that
always seemed to create a few stories was next on the agenda….Mossy
and Gaz led the way as the rest of the herd followed. Ironically
and disappointingly there were very few accidents to mention
except for my very own, where both hands seem to fall of the
handlebars at speed on a rocky decline. As always I managed to
skilfully bring the bike to a halt with the help of my elbows,
head and knee pads …..
Much to the delight of Ade who was following and a full witness.
then towards Draethen, past the Hairy Bush to the nasty gravel
track, we climbed to the top of the forestry once again. This
time a new trail was opened to the Moos that has been recently
built by the Super cider Sunday lads. This has been named “Strongbow” as
a tribute to the Cider Sunday lads and also is a suitably named cousin
to our other trail…”Carling”. I can’t wait
a quick run up to the ridgeway, then over to another new trail
that was introduced to us by Feather (although Julian reckons he
had something to do with building it). From the top left of Rudry
mountain, this track had a few tricky jumps which did cause a
few problems for Feather. The track traversed around and down
the reverse side of Rudry Mountain until it then cambered down
to the Garth.
The Monte was an old haunt that deserved a welcoming pint from us,
so we had a quick stop in there. Then a push up to the Maen for another
swifty before we headed back to Hazard County.
Again a lovely bit of Munch from Jenny at the T.A. was enjoyed by
all. Captain Johns then made a swift announcement that the next sports
night is a relay race, which still needs about 5hrs more planning.
the evening, a few members were complaining that we just don’t seem to hold the same credentials as other rival clubs
in the Caerphilly area. It had come to our attention recently that
a club very local to Machen…(whose name will not be mentioned),
has put in place a code of conduct for their club which the Moos
believe we should also introduce as well.
Their code of conduct reads as this:
Club Code of Conduct
Written by Administrator
All rides and events are subject to our code of conduct. If you
disagree with this code of conduct, don't come and ride with us.
1)All riders will wear a helmet on all rides.
2)Please carry contact details with you, just in case. We will also
have a club phone on all rides, you will be asked for your contact
details and your next of kin before riding with us, if your not prepared
to give these out, no ride.
3)If you lose the group on a ride, go back to where you were last
with the group and wait, we will come back for you. No rider is to
be left behind.
4)Please be polite to other club members, members of the public
and other road users. We do not discriminate and do not tolerate
discriminatory actions or language. Conversations, humour or banter
of a racist, sexist, homophobic or inappropriate sexual nature will
not be tolerated.
5)Ride in a safe and considerate manner. Stick to the highway code.
If the ride is likely to end in the dark ensure you have a working
6)Care for our environment, don't drop rubbish, infact if you see
any and you can, pick it up and bring it back.
7)Extreme drunken behaviour will not be accepted on club rides or
during residential trips.
We are keen for younger riders to join our club rides. Any rider
under 18, where not accompanied by their parent will require a parental
permission slip, these are available from the shop, and we'll try
to get an electronic version up ASAP.
Riders under 14 are welcome, but only with their parent or guardian,
please ensure that both riders are of a level of fitness and ability
suitable for the ride you choose.
Members who are under 18 are not to drink alcohol on club rides,
events or trips.
with some very careful thought and consideration, some of the
more senior and intelligent members of the club (2 members of
the current management were in this group) decided to also match
the rival club and introduce a “MACHEN MIGGLY MOO CODE OF CONDUCT”,
in an attempt to prove that anything they can do, we can do better..
MACHEN MIGGLY MOO CODE OF CONDUCT 2012
rides and events are subject to our code of despicable conduct.
If you disagree with this code of conduct, you’re
safety equipment is deemed to be unnecessary. There is only one
type of helmet we always take out with us and that’s
the non-removable reversion in our pants.
There is never any need to carry anything on you except a £20
note. If you fall off and injure yourself, all Moo members will make
sure that you will always be carried to the nearest public house
as long as you spend the £20 with them. No £20 note…no
help out of the woods to the pub.
you lose the group, tough. Use your initiative and meet us at
the next pub. No moos will be searched for or picked up unless
injured whilst waving the £20 note
previously mentioned in point 2.
do not be polite to other club members, members of the public
and especially other road cyclists. We regularly discriminate
and do not tolerate non- discriminatory actions or language.
Conversations, humour or banter of a racist, sexist, homophobic
or inappropriate sexual nature within the club will always be
tolerated and even rewarded. Please note that this is no way
a racist club. Our equal opportunities policy has recently been
endorsed by our ethnic minorities recruitment campaign recently
released, which has introduced both a Chinese and Afro Caribbean
rider to the club. (Not to mention the dwarf Oompa loompa,) Unfortunately
we have no more room for Gay riders, as we already have Dafydd….who
is the only Gay in the village. Women are encouraged to ride,
but only for 3 weeks a month, for obvious reasons. This included
dykes on bikes.
ride safely or in a considerate manner. Only use lights in the
event that you have either lost money or you are able to blind
a fellow rider which possibly could lead to a very funny crash.
As a club we promote the act of pushing our older members off
their bikes, preferably into stingies or bramble bushes.
rubbish and litter. We are not the f*ckin council ! The only
can you are allowed to pick up and bring back is a full one with
a high alcohol rating.
drunken behaviour will be rewarded. “The
drunker the better” is the ethos of the club and long
may it continue. This includes all residential trips (whatever they
are ???) This club is all about fun and lets be fair… the
drunker you are the funnier everything is!
We are keen for younger riders to join our club rides, especially
girls 3 weeks a month. Any rider under 18, where not accompanied
by their parent will endorse an all over body frisk by our club president
every week plus a 3 month alcohol induction policy, which is conducted
at the Tradesmans Arms Bar.
under 14 aren’t welcome, unless looked after
N.B : Members who are under 18 must only drink alcohol on club rides,
events or trips and will be taught foul language that they have more
than likely never heard before.