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Captain Johnsy's address

7th March 2012

The Captains Goggles and Pants were offered to me this week, last minute may I add, thanks to Messrs James, Howells and Knott all making up measly excuses for not being available.

Mr James claiming that he was far to fit (or was that fat?) to ride bicycles, now that he had rekindled his Rugby career last Saturday. (for those ex Rugby players, he was put clean through by Karl Bateman, only for his Umpa Lumpa Legs failing him and he got caught by their tight head prop)

Mr Howells was attending a birthday party, his nephews (our Mark’s boy). Last time our Mark and Phil were at a family do, they ended up scrapping with the guests. Some cheeky 6 year old had better look out.

Mr Knott, whereabouts…………………….unknown.

15 riders met at the Legion, surprisingly low numbers for such a pleasant evening. A tad soggy under wheel but a lovely, clear, dry night. It was just the sort of night for a quick jaunt around the local trails with a few beers thrown in for good measure. YEAH RIGHT !!!!!!

Going upper class was all that I revealed to the herd as we set off towards the Forestry. A couple of diversions onto some singletrack, which were fairly slippery, and it was over to Ridgeway woods. Up through the main track and we were at the foot of the Ridgeway. Onward we went, much to the distress of messrs Greenhalf, Evans and Newbury. Difficult conditions meant the ride became a slog in places, and a walk in others.

The first call for a beer from Jock at the top of the Ridgeway – only 10 mins away at this point, I advised.

Was onward through the fields, round the quarry and on to the gate, where we came across two elderly bikers, superbly dressed in all luminous yellow, could have been mistaken for the new Tw#T of the month top!!! I noted none of us offered to help him with his technical problems.

The uncertainty now kicked in amongst the herd, when I declared we are going straight on down the track, “where does that take us”, “you can’t get anywhere going that way”, “you need to turn left and come out by the arches” – just some of the girly comments being hurled at yours truly.

Just shut up and ride your bike, I muttered to myself. And set off down the Muddy, Rocky, Twisting, Stream-like, Gnarly, bike wrecking, where the hell am I, trail. Eventually arriving at the planned destination, where I and the odd follower waited for the rest of the herd to appear.

After the Captain phoning to ask which way do I go on this one way track !!!!! and also advising that there had been 3 mutineers. Good luck to them I thought, as surely there was no way back from where they veered off to.

Finally arriving on Capel Gwilym Road, Lisvane it was a quick dash on the road towards Graig Road and onwards to the Ty Mawr Arms Country Pub, for a well, deserved pint. And what a lovely pint it was. An up market venue for The Moos to visit in their stinking, wet and muddy clothing – we will have to visit in the summer.

More whinging from the Crock, about the lane climb back, which soon filtered through the herd and suddenly most of them were whining, grumbling and moaning.

The climb did have a few of us out of the saddle, but it wasn’t as long as the Crock first thought.

At the top it was along the footpath across to the top of Lisvane woods. This is where Beaker got all Sentimental,

“What a fantastic view, across the Bristol Channel”, he stated.

“Yes Jeffrey, but what about the lights of Cardiff?” I asked?

“Look, you can see Clevedon in the distance”. He went on

“Yes Jeffrey, but what about the lights of Cardiff?” I asked again?

“See the shimmering reflection of the moon off the Bristol Channnel” he went on.

“If you love the place so much then bloody well go back!!!!!”

Dropping down the side of the fence, crossing the wooden foot bridge and down the rocky gully to the foot of the Ridgeway, a quick push back up and it was time for stop number two at the Maen.

We had just missed the mutineers who had already returned there for a quick pint, shame that !!!!!

Back at HQ at 9.30ish just as the captain ordered.

Roaring Log Fire greeted us – well it was more of a Sparkling Twig !!!! until the boys got hold of the furniture.

A lovely serving of Pasta A La Ta, accompanied with some Garlic Bread was a vast improvement and even came with silver salver service, well plastic tray and fork service from Mrs Ash. At least this stopped Crock on stocking up on his weekly feed.

Banter a plenty, especially the moans and groans of the ride, never mind eh! Beaker loved it.

Then the Fire had a good stoking, with Jock finding a bag of sticks from the alley, Ash deciding he didn’t like some of his furniture, which Newbury and Jock had great delights in showing off their amazing strength in dismantling it with the support of the Floor, wall and fireplace. Look out next week.

Next week is Sports Night 1 – the Dot to Dot. Sounds intriguing, but not quite as intriguing as whether Option will turn up to defend his crown, given that there is a chance to win by drinking beer, I may put a little wager on him gracing us with his presence.

Keep Moo’in

Ex Ex Cap’n Peal

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