Schlongs Ride Report
Ride started promptly, 6:30pm start not 7pm which has become the norm over the last year or so while waiting for stragglers. If you can’t make 6:30pm then catch up or ride on your own and don’t take the p*ss out of other peoples time who have the decency to turn up on time. For the ones who are habitually late (you know who you are) consider “Good Manners”, Lecture over!
Fifteen riders started the quick dash / warm up along the road, cycle track and old Colliery to ascend “sh*te Alley”. Climb completed in two stages, tarmac and short wait to climb the technical “Bovine Bullsh*t Boulevard” to meet “Budgie” and new Vice Capt “Beaker” who got lost in the Legion car park!!.
Across Bedwas common to descend on a frozen single track which rode exceptionally well with loads of grip to exit close to the bottom of the “two mile climb”. On ascending the ride leader was riding like a girl and had to have several breaks, but still did not arrive at the top last. Crocky was left to ride up on his own as his jaw was flapping incessantly with boring tedious bullsh*t flowing out making the riders ascent tricky. Vice Capt Ludlow was flying only to be passed by the ever youthful Scrippsy, (hard to be believe he is only thirty nine!)
Time was getting on with refreshments on riders minds, it was decided that we descend “Bovine Bullshit Boulevard” to the Church House. To our disappointment they were too full to accommodate us due to decorating. On to the Forge!