A New Years Eve Hangover, mounting debts from Christmas, FA Cup 3rd round, the dread of returning to work, a new Miggly Moo Captain and the announcement that Scrippsy is once again retiring! Yes folks it’s the 1st week of January again, and with it brings the hope of a new and fruitful year amongst the Moos herd.
A superb turnout of 22 showed their support for the Long faced carrot topped profanity spewing Bristolian wurzel of a Captain Jeff ‘Beaker’ Wherlock, who turned up decked out in an interesting new Leaders Jersey, which was borrowed straight from The Village People’s dressing up box of 1979, we are a Mountain Bike Club not the YMCA and if all his offerings this year are going to be this disturbing he can indeed become a ‘New recruit and p**s off to the Navy’!!!!
There were a few notable absentees, The Phantom himself Marty Roberts, the new recipient of ‘The Best Newcomer Award’, Neil ‘Pealy’ Williams, and long term injury victims Roger Farquhar Smithers Smyth Colling-Morgan, and current benefit scrounger Phil ‘Dangly Dangly Sh*t Tom’ Howells, we wish them a speedy recovery.
On a personal note I was very happy to have a 100% attendance record so far this year, normal service will be resumed by next week I’m sure!!! I would also like to thank the Moos for wishing me a Happy Birthday. I say ALL the Moos but with one exception, well quite a big exception really because this fella is indeed carrying a little bit too much timber, you could forgive him being as it’s right after Christmas but I’m afraid that Geoff ‘OBE’ Davies is indeed the perennial rotund Buddha!!
But the biggest thing with Geoff at the moment is the apparent bitterness that he has been showing to fellow Moos, the first instance of this was last year when he described the ‘Rider of the Year’ Award as nothing more than a twopenny bit piece of rubbish that should be renamed ‘The Bless his Cotton Socks, He’s Tried his Best Love Him, So Lets Present Him With This Award So That He Doesn’t Feel Left Out’ Award!!! I tended to disagree with his interpretation until he was voted runner up and Dickie Watkins walked away with the award for 2007! I think he has a valid point!!!!
The second instance of bitterness from Sir Space Hopper was directed at yours truly. I know my riding attendance could be best described as sketchy last year but everybody has the chance to redeem themselves, so by turning out for the 1st ride of the year which just happened to coincide with the date of my birth, I was mercilessly chastised by Monsieur ‘Just one wafer thin mint’ for only coming to collect my birthday drink. I vehemently refute these claims but even if this was the case, it would have to be just a drink as Roland Browning stunt double had eaten all the food!!!!
There was also some sad news indeed that our loveable older gentleman Gordon Scripps Thornton has once again announced his retirement. Retirement from what I hear you cry, for most of you who know him, will have realised that he retired from life a long time ago, his hair has retired from growing, the last time he had a stiff one was a single malt when he was 50, and no sooner has Parkinson left ITV he has now started a new chat show in Scrippsy’s head, but joking aside the old fella has decided to retire from riding his bike (I bet she is having a huge sigh of relief!!!). But to mark this sad occasion Saturday 26th January 2008 will be the last time that Scrippsy mounts his trusty steed, and we will be having a farewell ride and a few drinks and the Captain will present him with a Golden Shower for his many years of unflinching service!!
On the subject of the Captain I’d like to take this opportunity on behalf of the Moos to wish him and his able Deputy Owgie all the best for 2008 and to carry on the good work. Although on his first address to the Moos he was like a true politician, standing proudly in front of the crowd whilst they were baying for blood and heckling him down, he bravely carried on in the face of adversity delivering his manifesto which promised so much but ultimately will yield nothing, this was all to the whispering undertones of Ex-Cap Chrissy rasping “Beaker, don’t give them too much, just suggest a few things each week, don’t raise their expectations……. Oh boll*cks you’ve promised them the earth!!!!”
Wise words indeed from someone who has already made a pigs ear of things!!